A Message from Maa

The Beat Changes

Life wasn’t the same for neither Mohona nor Anupam. Mohona missed him a lot. It wasn’t easy to forget someone who had been, till some time back, an integral part of her emotions. She thought of him repeatedly, and the memories pained her. But she had taken a decision, and she had to stick to it, no matter how much it hurt.

In the US, Anupam struggled to find a foothold in the writing business. Though he wrote a couple of books, he was unable to find a publisher. The literary market wasn’t the same as India. Anupam found it exceptionally competitive.

Sagorika could relate to Anupam’s struggle. She was in publishing, and she knew the challenges an emerging writer would have faced. However, she was more interested in her mother’s story for now.

“Sara, I was missing Anupam but now I had a chance to take a fresh perspective on my married life. Sameer was still busy, so it was entirely up to me to strengthen our bond again. I had recovered from a temporary distraction, and I was happy about it.

A few months after Anupam left, I fell ill. It was viral fever. Sameer took leave from work and looked after me. From feeding me at the right time to giving me medicines, he did everything. Our married life bloomed with renewed energy.”

Reading about her parent’s emotional reunion excited Sagorika like a little girl. She wanted this narrative of happy times to never end, yet as an adult she knew better. She had also lived the life that the diary recorded.

Her parents had reunited, and the spectre of Mohona’s secret love was out of the picture. The telecom company where Sagorika’s father had worked was doing very well. He was promoted to an executive director. Mohona was happy, but Sameer was faced with a new problem. The company had been acquired by a European telecom giant. Now, he had to deal with a new management, and he was apprehensive about his future.

Mohona intuitively understood the situation and gave him some suggestions to reduce the tensions for him at office. Sameer appreciated Mohona’s advice and actually benefited from it. The new foreign management was impressed with Sameer’s performance and gave him a raise. Sameer owed this new success to Mohona. But the raise also brought additional responsibilities. Sameer had to travel frequently to Europe and Southeast Asia. Mohona was glad for him but also worried about his health.

Once everything stabilised at Sameer’s workplace, Mohona convinced him to take a few days off. The family went to Goa for a vacation. It was a break that Sameer needed too.

Sagorika knew what was coming next. She dreaded reading it, and yet she couldn’t help herself from reading on.

Tragedy struck when Sameer collapsed suddenly in the hotel at night. Mohona rushed him to the hospital. Sameer had had a fatal heart attack. The doctors tried their best to revive him, but they failed. The family had come to Goa to enjoy their vacation, but now Mohona found herself alone with her daughter, unsure how to manage life without her husband.

Finishing the last rites of Sameer, Mohona returned to Mumbai. She had informed her parents and relatives, but she sorely missed someone on whose shoulder she could cry. She thought of talking to Anupam again and again. Finally, with a heavy heart she dialled to his house phone, but no one answered. She dialled a few more times, but to no avail.

She had repudiated his love, but she had not forsaken their friendship. Yes, they had not spoken in a while. Yes, they had parted on a sour note, but did that mean that they had not shared any fond feelings in the past? Would Anupam desert her when she needed him the most? Shattered and emotionally devastated, Mohona slumped in her bed and cried. She knew she was all alone. Anupam was gone. Sameer had left her too.

Photography: @focusraghu_photoartist
Location: Varanasi, India